Wednesday, February 12, 2014

do you mind if i take a look at you, stranger?

i don't know if i could be an artist some time. i idealize this life and i know how it feels to express your ideas in things you can actually see, which exist because you've created them. it makes you feel proud of yourself, you've put yourself out there - showing what you can do. i photographed for some years and it was acknowledged and exiting and inspiring. i jumped into this little milestone of mine but i never really thought of myself as a photographer for the future (well, i thought about it but that wish didn't last). i don't know why i had this feeling, it was just there. maybe it was insecurity, lacking self-assurance ... or just simply the feeling that i want to do something else, some different.

but photography stays part of my life up to today because the gallery i am working with is one specialized in photography. oops. i surround myself with photographs nearly every day, feeling their power, knowing their story, deciding in which context and surrounding to present them. but i have this diverse feeling about it. taking photographs felt familiar after some time and now it feels .. like a stranger. but a stranger you get to know for the second time and from another side. is that a good thing?

i know that things change. but i just struggle with that topic and i am trying to reflect my feelings on that. so excuse my wild thoughts. guess, they aren't as clear and obvious as i'd like them to be. as mr. goldsmith once said: if my sentences were inexplicit or blurry, my thoughts behind them may be, too. 


but i do know one thing: creating things makes me feel calm and patient (which can be compared to a little wonder because i am not someone you can look up to when it comes to patience..and self-
discpline). and that's why i try to fight against my own excuses with starting a sketchbook project!






my drawings can include photography or other techniques - it's not limited to paper + pencil.



to be continued...




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